I'm assuming it goes something like this:
Mme Zoey, I’m having a problem with my human. He insists on feeding me a no-name brand of cat food. I’ve tried the basics- the “starving cat, how can you do this to me” look and the coughing it up on the carpet tactic, but it hasn’t worked. What do you suggest? – Princess.
Princess- you need to assert yourself here. It will require persistence on your part, but no matter how hungry you are don’t eat a bite. Sooner or later the skinflint will realize it’s cheaper to get the quality product that’s so rightfully yours than to keep throwing out the inferior brand. Hang in there Princess, and bon apetit.
Mme Zoey, my human stops petting me after a few strokes. She seems to be distracted by Netflix and texting. How do I get those long term pettings I deserve? Pandora
Pandora – Hold that purr. You’re giving her the satisfaction of a purr with little effort on her part. Only purr occasionally or in short bursts. She’ll try harder to gain your affection. Don’t forget randomly reinforced behaviour is the most deeply entrenched.
Mme. Zoey, my human spends her evenings reading mystery novels and ignoring me. What should I do? Blackie
Blackie, curl up on her lap as she reads and then suddenly sit straight up and stare over her left shoulder. Hold that pose. You’ll psych her out and she’ll soon give up the mysteries. Then she’ll be all yours.
Have to close now, fellow Toms and Queens. I hear a car pulling into the driveway and have to get this computer shut off. I had a close call a few weeks ago and now she comes in to feel the computer to see if it’s warm. Remember no matter how much we care for them, they’re only human.
Click on the link below to check out my mysteries and romances.